Is Mediation for Me?
I’ll bet you’re wondering how mediation could possibly work for you when you are feeling so angry and no longer trust the person or people you are fighting with. It can seem like a huge stretch right now – especially if you have never experienced mediation with a mediator who has my specific skills. You see, I specialize in impossible cases.
I think most folks assume that you must already be in a collaborative mood for mediation to work. Not true! Part of the mediator’s work is to mold a process in which very adversarial people can actually examine *together* whether their positions (their demands) actually serve their needs and understand how they can end up with a better deal than they’d get in court by negotiating in good faith.
There is a reason that judges send people who are *already* in litigation to mediation. I mediate with people who cuss each other out throughout the process. Sometimes my clients yell and scream and get up and flap their arms around. That’s ok – so long as nobody tries to hit anybody.
But it has never gotten there because my clients – the parties involved – quickly realize that I actually care about what’s going on. I listen, acknowledge and validate their rights to their anger and indignation and then help them organize their priorities so that they can have something concrete to negotiate with. I give them the chance to create a resolution that is better for them than what the court would have handed them – because they got to design it themselves.
Mediation is not for softies. Not by a long shot.
All My Best,